The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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