if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
