Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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