my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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