This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
