WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
