just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
