i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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