Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We need to get me chipped asap
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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