I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My ass is underappreciated
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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