Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
