Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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