just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
