the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
