Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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