drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
