I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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