I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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