i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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