Someone shit on the floor
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize