When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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