STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
