dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
