I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
