She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
