good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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