Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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