i jhust puked up my retainher.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
