Is it because I queefed?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You dont lie about slip and slides
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
