I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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