In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize