i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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