so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
