Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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