Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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