I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
