He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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