; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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