Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
