You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The air was thick with penises
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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