Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
