You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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