that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
