Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
