OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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