i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
