ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
