I heard we made out
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You have to summon your inner elephant
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
