You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
