How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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