I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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