I hate your face
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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