I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
