i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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