I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
