People in love make me want to vomit
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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