Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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