id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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